I am the worst at blog post titles! “Blogging”. Ugh! If there were a competition for world’s worst blog post title writers, I would be winning at that! Maybe one day, if I ever do become a real blogger, I’ll hire someone to write blog post titles for me. And I’ll do it not only so I can have amazing blog post titles, but so that when people ask this person what they do for a living, they can say “I write blog post titles.” “So, you’re a blogger?” “Nope – not a blogger. A title writer. I don’t write the posts, only write the titles. It’s called a BlogTitle-er.” Okay….maybe that will never happen. A girl can dream, right?
I could tell before I even started writing this post that it will probably be all over the place. I have a lot of thoughts in my brain and they are not necessarily very organized. But that is okay. At least with me, so I hope it is with you, too.
For the better part of a year, I have had whispering in my heart from the Lord that I need to be blogging. And I’m not doing it very well. I justify that I am because I think about blogging a lot. I even take pictures of things that I want to blog about. But, I never actually open up my internet browser and do something about it!
I think some of it is that I’m not completely sure about how blogging can fit in my life. I’m super busy – but who isn’t, right? And I know myself when it comes to projects (or blogging). I tend to do things all or nothing. Which isn’t very good because I focus waaaay too much on one thing and let everything else important in life slide. Who needs clean dishes? Not me! Paper plates forever! Okay, okay…maybe we do need clean dishes – at least sometimes. Balancing life is definitely not my super power. So, part of the reason I haven’t jumped back in head first is because I don’t necessarily trust myself to not jump in so deep that my family suffers. I’ve decided that the best way to learn to fit it back in my life is to just get busy and move forward – but not until after the dishes are done. At least on most days.
Another reason I’ve been so hesitant is actually a silly reason, I think. It takes a little bit of a backstory. If you know me in real life, I am really great with small groups of people or one on one, but I am definitely more of an introverted person. Growing up in school, I was the quiet girl that was happy to sit in the back of the class and listen. I didn’t even make it into my high school senior class video because I stayed under the radar so much. I hated drawing attention to myself. Dave on the on the other hand is completely opposite. He is extremely outgoing and loves to be with people all the time. I think that’s part of the reason that I was so drawn to him when we met. He was exciting and people always wanted to be around him. It was new to me! Over the years, we’ve really found a good balance in our marriage and in our family with the two of us having such opposite personalities. He has pulled me out of my comfort zone and I’ve learned to be more outgoing and take more risks. I love that being married to him has helped me do that because I really love the person I’ve been able to become! But, overall I still tend to lean more towards the introverted side. It’s funny to me that I am so drawn to blogging because of that!
Oohhh…back to the backstory. Two years ago, our family went through a pretty big change. I blogged before about being Mormon. If you aren’t familiar with callings in our church, let me give you a little bit of information. Callings are responsibilities that each member has that are done on a voluntary basis – which means that we have no paid positions or clergy. Callings are given as an assignment from the Lord – not something that a person would ask for. In fact, I would speculate that asking for a particular calling would probably ensure that you would be asked to do something completely opposite! Haha! I have two callings right now. I work as the secretary in the primary. The primary is where all of our children go during church on Sunday. I love it! I also publish and print our ward service folder for sacrament meeting every week. Maybe one day I’ll get my act together and share the template I designed just in case someone else could use it! Two years ago, Dave was asked to be the Bishop of our ward (or congregation). He is such a busy person and everyone we knew couldn’t understand how he would be able say yes to such a large calling when he already has so much on his plate! Taking on the responsibilities of leading a large congregation while still working a full time job to support our family probably seemed impossible on the outside looking in. But, if you knew my husband, you would know that he would not say no to something the Lord was asking, so that was never a question. Of course he would say yes. Callings aren’t necessarily for a specified amount of time, but typically, a bishop serves for somewhere around 5 years. So, we knew that it would be something that would be a change for our family for quite a long time. In fact, on the day that he was sustained in church, we took a family picture because we thought it would be fun to see how much our children grow while their dad is serving as bishop.
Dave’s being bishop has really thrown me in a place of growth that is probably right at the very edge of my comfort zone. I’ve still tried to be the person that slips in the back and stays quiet, but it’s a lot more difficult to do! Haha! But I’ve also had opportunities to see miracles in people’s lives that are so wonderful. And I have grown to have a love for people that is so strong! I never understood how a person could stand at the pulpit in church and proclaim their love for complete strangers, but now that is me! I’m that person! And I really do feel love for others well being and happiness that I have never experienced before! It’s really been such a blessing for me!
Even though this is a calling for Dave, it’s something that our whole family has been a part of. I don’t completely understand why, but the bishop’s wife and family are also looked at differently and as an example. I sometimes feel like all of our words and actions are scrutinized under a microscope. I often worry about what I say or how I say things because I never, ever want to be the bishop’s wife that accidentally offends someone or says something wrong. When Dave first got called in, it was a really interesting time for me. I felt like our family was placed in the spotlight of our little community and I wasn’t sure how comfortable I felt about it. I was perfectly okay with Dave being in the spotlight by himself, but not necessarily with us included! I felt very protective of my family and to cope with it, I pulled back in every way that would put myself out in a way that I could potentially be judged or criticized – and that most certainly included blogging. I think I needed to take a step back for a while. As time has gone on, I’ve grown more and I have started to worry less about some of those things. And honestly, maybe I never needed to be protective of myself and my family to begin with. But that’s really neither here nor there because that time has gone and all I can do is move forward. I still really worry about saying the wrong thing or being judged . But, I know my heart and I know that the Lord knows. And I have a huge desire to contribute good in this world. And if I can do that through blogging, then I need to do it and stop worrying so much!
Sooo…..where does it leave this blog? (And, this is really the reason I’m even writing this post.) When I blogged before, I mainly focused on crafts and recipes and other things like that. And it was really fun. And also a huge amount of work! I loved doing it, but I also really burned myself out. I don’t want to do that this time. So, I still plan on blogging about fun projects that I do – because I still do them! – but I also have to have a better mix of real life stuff, too. Because that is easier to blog about. Being a mother and taking care of my family is my passion and I’ll really be a better blogger if that’s what I’m focused on both on the blog and off. It’ll change this blog into more of a lifestyle blog that will also include crafts and recipes – if that even makes sense! Right now, I’m excited and I have a lot of fun things planned! So, if any of you are still out there and have stuck with me through my on again/off again blogging, I hope you stick around some more. I have a lot more posts coming right around the corner!